Those Darn Neighbors
by Skyler25
Summary: Skyler25 discovers that Edward and Alphonse Elric are her neighbors!  But why don't they remember anything about Amestris, and how the heck are they here!  Rating subject to change.  EdxMe, AlxPeachy300


Disclaimer: -doesn't own FMA- 'Nuff said. Or Hannah Montana…Or Call of Duty 4.

Skyler25: Okay, guess I'd better explain. This has NOTHING to do with Fullmetal Alchemist RETOLD. Just a little blurb got from…well, see, I had this dream one night…

Ed: OH NO! NOT THE DREAM!

Al: SOMEONE STOP HER!

Ed: -puts duct tape over Skyler25's mouth- You really don't wanna know what's in that crazy mind of hers.

Hope: ESPECIALLY when she's sleeping.

Patience: Mhmm!

Skyler25: -takes off duct tape- We're boring the readers, anyway. Who even reads these muse things?

--

Life is strange in many ways. It seems like only yesterday I was an ordinary seventh-grader, living an ordinary life. See, it all started that one fateful evening-

Oops, I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. I'd better explain a bit about my life.

My family lives in…a city. But we have a country house out in…a country (XD). And out there in the country, we're kind of like a social peninsula. Surrounded by neighbors on three sides. And our neighbors are nutso.

The neighbors to our left are complete party animals. From what I can here at 11:00 PM on Saturday evenings, they have a baby, a dog, and at least two kids, a boy and a girl. Sometimes I hear more voices, but they may just be friends of the kids.

The girls really like Hannah Montana, and I can hear them singing "The Best of Both Worlds" sometimes. The entire family is REALLY loud, and one of their shared hobbies is having pool parties and BBQs while screaming at the top of their lungs. One time, they played music so loudly that my mom called the police on them. That shut them up for one winter, but the next summer they were back, screaming and yelling and partying like there was no tomorrow.

The neighbors to our right are kind of mean. From what I know, there's a man and a beagle. I don't know if this guy has a wife or kids, because I've never seen him with any, but his noisy beagle seems enough for him.

Now see, we have this tennis court on our lawn, and sometimes, the occasional ball or two will accidentally fly into said neighbor's lawn. They're REAL nice about this, trust me. The next day, we'll get our balls back…with slash marks in them! It's creepier than it sounds. Like sending one of your friends or family over to say hi to the neighbor, and then finding them dead the next day… Like I said, creepy.

So, about us now. I think we're the only normal family in the peninsula. My family consists of a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, a Yorkie (Max), and me. I'm not going to tell you my name for privacy reasons, so for purposes of this story I'll just call myself Skye. It's short for Skyler25. That's Skyler-Twenty-Five. Not Skyler-Two-Five. I'm basically your normal, stressed-to-the-point-of-insanity seventh-grader attending one of those stressful distinguished private schools. I'm great in languages (French, Latin, English), okay in History and Science, and TERRIBLE in Math.

But enough about me and my two crazy neighbors. This story isn't about them. It's about the neighbors at the bottom of the peninsula.

These neighbors tend to keep to themselves. If I didn't see their lights on at night, I wouldn't even no they were home. I never see nor hear them. I think they have a cat or two, because sometimes my dog will be barking and barking at them, and I'll hear mewing. But never any humans, and it's unlikely that the house is ruled by animals.

But one day, my wondering would cease…

--

"OH MY GOOSENESS!" I cried, quoting my (totally awesome) history teacher. "Mom, what're they _doing_?" Outside, several workmen were severing the hedges that separated us from the rest of the peninsula.

"Dad and I got tired of staring at bushes all day," Mom said, not looking up from her paperwork (Roy Mustang much?). "We wanted to see what the other houses looked like without leaving the property. Don't worry, dear, they're only cutting the bushes down to half their height."

"HALF THEIR HEIGHT?" I cried, clutching my chest.

"Well, one-quarter really. About half your height."

"HALF MY HEIGHT?" That would mean that the party people would be louder than ever! And the tennis ball slasher would be glaring at me everytime I played tennis! And the quiet neighbors with cats… What if my dog was able to jump over the hedge and attacked their cat?

"Mom, really, this is _not_ a good idea!" I said expressing my concern.

"Oh, hush, Skye," my mom hushed impatiently. "We've lived here for _two years_ and we've never properly met out neighbors. We've hardly had any contact with them."

"Mom," I began, wanting to protest further, but I realized it was useless. "Never mind…" I said, and walked out onto the lawn where the workers had finished their hedge-trimming. My dog trailed at my heels.

No sooner had I walked outside then my dog froze in his tracks. He let out a low growl, then headed off towards the hedges. I heard a meowing, and instantly thought of the cat.

"Oh, SNAP!" I cried, chasing after Max. He was faster than me, though, and gracefully leapt over the mini-hedges. I ran after him and attempted to jump over the hedge too, but being the inflexible little shorty that I am, I landed flat on my face, with a few leaves in my hair for extra measure.

I looked up, expecting to see a bloody mess that was once a cat. Instead, I saw a boy protectively holding the cat. He had light brown hair that fell over his eyes in weird bangs. The left bang was bigger than the right one, and an ahoge that stuck up in between them. I could see the rest of his hair was tied back into a pony tail, and his eyes were greenish-grey.

I knew him instantly. Alphonse Elric.

"Um…I…um…" I stammered, feeling pretty pathetic.

He sighed, seeming exasperated. "Please try to control your dog a bit more."

"I-I'm really sorry," I said, standing up and brushing myself off. "I'm your neighbor, Skye. What's your name?" Even though I already knew it, I thought, I'd better not act like it. I don't want to have to explain _how_ I knew it.

"I'm Alphonse," he said. "This is my cat, Phonse. It's nice to meet you, Skye."

"Nice to meet you too, Al," I said, forgetting that he hadn't mentioned that that was his nickname. Thankfully, he didn't notice.

Instead, he smiled. "How long have you lived there?" he said, gesturing towards my house. "I haven't seen you at all, but I've heard your dog from time to time."

"Close to two years," I said.

"We just moved here," Al said, pointing to his house. "My older brother and me, that is. His name is Edward."

"Cool," I said, actually meaning, "I know. Well, I hope I see you again, Alphonse. I'm gonna go home now."

"Bye!" he said, and I smiled and turned around, waving while walking towards my house.

Enter Lard, my older brother. His real name is Lardo, but we all just call him Lard. Lard is lazy and mean. He enjoys beating up my twin sister and me, and NEVER does his homework. But you'll learn more about him by seeing him in action than hearing him.

Lard was at the door, complaining, as usual. He held my sister, Peachy (short for Peachy300), by the collar. Lardo opened the door and threw her outside, where she fell onto the grass covered in bruises.

"Can't you and Skye stay out of my hair for _one_ day?" he screamed at her. "I'm trying to finish my English essay! And I can't work with you and Skye constantly screaming at me! So leave me alone!" With that, he slammed and locked the door.

[Translation: "The existence of you and Skye annoys me. I'm trying to finish Call of Duty 4 instead of doing my work, but you and Skye might tell Mom and Dad. I can't have any witnesses."

I ran over to where Peachy was lying on the grass, and Alphonse jumped over the hedge and followed. "Peach," I called. "Are you okay?"

Peachy stood up and brushed herself off. "Yeah, just fine. Lard's just being an idiot." Then she saw Alphonse behind me, and I saw the color rush to her face. "Skye, that boy…he looks just like Alphonse Elric! From FMA!" she whispered hurriedly.

"I know! He _is_ Alphonse! Either that or he's a really good cosplayer with the same name and personality!" I hissed back, hoping Al didn't hear.

"But how is that…I thought…Alphonse is…What's going on?"

"I don't quite understand either. But act like he's just a random stranger or you'll confuse him too!"

"What're you guys whispering about?" Alphonse asked suddenly, and I turned to face him. Peachy turned too, but her eyes were trained on the ground, and she was bright pink.

"Oh, nothing," I said also blushing, but from embarrassment. "Just talking about our older brother, that's all. His name is Lard, but you can make up a nastier name for him and call him that instead."

Alphonse laughed. "And is that girl your sister?"

"Yeah, this is my twin, Peachy. Peachy this is…"

"HelloAlphonse," Peachy said hurriedly. I groaned inwardly, remembering Peachy's crush on Al. That explained why she was so shy and nervous. And her nervousness was causing her to forget that she was supposed to pretend she didn't know him!

Amazingly, Alphonse didn't notice. I looked at him, and saw that he was blushing as well, staring at the ground. I sighed inwardly- half relieved, half exasperated.

"Hi…Peachy…" Alphonse murmured quietly.

"So, uh, Alphonse," I said, feeling awkward and out of place, as if I was interrupting something. "It seems-" I tried the door to our house, and it wouldn't open- "-that we're not welcome back at home. Mind if we stay at your place for a while? …Alphonse?"

He looked up suddenly, bright red. "It seems I've just interrupted a daydream," I teased. Alphonse only blushed deeper. "W-what were you asking?"

"Can we stay at your house for a while?" I jabbed a finger at the door. "Till our darling big brother decides to take pity on us poor souls and let us in…or until Mom and Dad find out?"

"That's fine with me," Alphonse said, "If you don't mind my big brother being around."

"Not a problem at all!" I said cheerily. I got to spend a day with Ed! …Oh, yeah, and Al, too. "He's definitely not as bad as Lard! I mean, no big brother could possibly be as bad as Lard, right?" I said hurriedly, remembering I wasn't supposed to know Ed.

"You can make that decision for yourself once you meet _my _brother," Alphonse joked. "He's nothing like Lard, I'll give you that, but he's pretty hot-tempered himself. Oh, and don't say the words "short, small, shrimp," or "little" around him, unless you make it clear that you're not talking about him." Alphonse looked me over. "You seem a bit shorter than he is. You should be okay."

I laughed, and then looked at Peachy, who hadn't said a word. I elbowed her sharply, and she looked up at me. Her face was a deep red, and she was sweating. Her eyes were half-lidded, and she looked tired.

I raised an eyebrow. "Something wrong?" I asked her. She didn't reply- just looked at the ground. She looked exhausted, all red and sweaty like that.

Being the kind, caring, and adorable sister that I am, I laughed. "Shy? Heh heh, I bet you have a crush on Alphonse!" I snickered.

Alphonse jumped. "W-what?!"

"Nothing," Peachy said. "She does this all the time." Ah, so she would talk for Alphonse, but not for her own sister.

"So, Alphonse," I said, bored, and wanting to make a conversation to fill the empty silence, "You live all by yourself with your brother?"

"Yeah," Alphonse said. "I don't know what happened to our parents, but one day, I just woke up, and there we were. Brother and me, in that house."

"Huh," I said. "Well, that's interesting."

"Yeah, it's a nice house, I guess," said Alphonse. By now, we were standing right in front of the house Edward and Alphonse were apparently living in.

"I guesso," I said, hovering near the doorknob. "So, uh…I'm really looking forward to meeting your, um…brother," I blushed, looking down.

Alphonse laughed, and opened the door.

--

Skyler25: BWAHAHAHA! SELF-INSERTATION _AND_ SCRIPT! MY FELLOW AUTHORS AND AUTHORESSES, REBEL! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Hope: Oo, she is _so_ gonna get banned. –reports-

Ed: -reports-

Al: -reports-

Patience: -reports-

Fans: -don't report-

Flamers: -report-

Skyler25: No matter. If my story gets banned, I'll post it somewhere else. I'll probably make my own website and post my fics there my account gets banned. BWAHAHAHA!

Starting next chapter, I'll also start answering reviews. But as of 11:37 PM, Wednesday, October 03, 2007, there are no reviews. So…yeah. Enjoy.


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